The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
Acceptable registrations in the queue through May 12 at 7:00p ET have now been activated. Enjoy! -M.W.
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Some Church News
Some Church News
I don't mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
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- Posts: 4273
- Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:09 pm
- Location: Brighton
Re: Some Church News
The Evangelical squirrels were at a Trump rally. They knew they'd find the most nuts there.
"Internet is no more like radio than intravenous feeding is like fine dining."
-TurkeyTop
-TurkeyTop
Re: Some Church News
Audiophile has been spotted inspecting the female squirrels at the rally.Mega Hertz wrote: ↑Wed Sep 13, 2023 10:36 pmThe Evangelical squirrels were at a Trump rally. They knew they'd find the most nuts there.
Voting for Trump is dumber than playing Russian Roulette with fully loaded chambers.
Re: Some Church News
I found plenty of nuts at PRIDE this year.
They were attached to the women.
They were attached to the women.
- craig11152
- Posts: 2062
- Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:15 am
- Location: Ann Arbor
Re: Some Church News
A guy can't even tell a joke without somebody turning it political.
I no longer directly engage trolls
Re: Some Church News
I'd better post some input here, or I'll be accused of posting this just to stir up controversy.
Full disclosure. I was raised in the Catholic Church with the catechism, holy water and Ash Wednesday. But I lost my faith decades ago.
Full disclosure. I was raised in the Catholic Church with the catechism, holy water and Ash Wednesday. But I lost my faith decades ago.
I don't mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
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- Posts: 4273
- Joined: Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:09 pm
- Location: Brighton
Re: Some Church News
I'm not the one that made politics and religion one and the same.craig11152 wrote: ↑Thu Sep 14, 2023 11:57 amA guy can't even tell a joke without somebody turning it political.
"Internet is no more like radio than intravenous feeding is like fine dining."
-TurkeyTop
-TurkeyTop