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Another discussion among family and friends. Value your opinions:

Someone is having a get together. Backyard bbq, grad party, whatever. Just a simple spread. Dogs, burgers, chips, slaw, salad, nothing elaborate. Someone invited calls the host. Says they are lactose intolerant. Or allergic to gluten or wheat or whey or whatever.

Should the host be obligated to provide food for the special dietary needs? Or should the invitee not expect that, and bring their own food?

Thanks

I have some restrictions as to what I can eat but I always seem to find things to eat at these gatherings.

Absolutely not. That's on the invitee to either find enough of what's available to meet their palate, or bring something to snack on while there.

They could also offer to bring a dish that meets their needs but might also be valued by someone else at the party.

There's no simple answer to that question as it depends on a lot of factors. How big is the gathering, how "close" is that person to you, and just exactly how strict does that person have to be with his/her diet? I mean, like if it is your mother or your grandmother, you might want to try to accommodate. If it is a friend of a friend, they're on their own. Same goes for size of gathering - if its say, under 10 people, it is probably easier to accommodate for someone than if it is a large gathering.

Me personally, I have very mild intolerances for both gluten and dairy, but I can eat both as long as I don't overdo it. So I would never expect a party host to make special accommodations for me.

The person with the special needs should just bring along the food they need and then explain it to the hosts when they get there.

What was the purpose of the call? Was it to A) request special food accommodations that weren't part of the original spread, or B) was the purpose of the call to ask what will be available so the guest knows if they need to bring something on their own?

Depending how reasonable the request is, or how close the relationship is, a consideration is the kind thing for a host to do, although I don't believe there is any obligation whatsoever. I have dietary restrictions and would never dream of requesting something special unless I'm paying for it. I have only ever met one person with dietary restrictions actually demand an unreasonable accommodation by the host.

Turkeytop wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 8:59 am

The person with the special needs should just bring along the food they need and then explain it to the hosts when they get there.

That's the only good answer. Someone who is closely watching their diet should always stay in control—expecting a host to cater to their needs does not do that.

Forget the food... what is the BEER they're serving? A H*** keg of Natty Ice? No thanks, I'll bring a pack of Jolly Pumpkin or Right Brain...

But then again, I don't usually associate with people who don't drink Michigan craft beer.

I just went outside and checked my front yard. I didn't see a sign that said Burger King. When coming to my house for casual get togethers in the summertime, guests get it MY WAY.

Now, on more formal occasions, weddings, anniversary parties, etc. Dietary concerns are taken care of.

Bryce wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 10:52 am

I just went outside and checked my front yard. I didn't see a sign that said Burger King. When coming to my house for casual get togethers in the summertime, guests get it MY WAY.

Now, on more formal occasions, weddings, anniversary parties, etc. Dietary concerns are taken care of.

It's probably lost in the jungle of "tRump 20**" signs and flags. Look harder.

ZenithCKLW wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 9:29 am

What was the purpose of the call? Was it to A) request special food accommodations that weren't part of the original spread, or B) was the purpose of the call to ask what will be available so the guest knows if they need to bring something on their own? ...

As far as the one couple I'm thinking of in our family, let's make it A, but suggest instead of request.

Add me to the group that says it is incumbent on the guest to bring what works for them, not the host
As a sidebar I have a granddaughter a little over 2 years old who is currently allergic to eggs. Needless to say her mom and dad bring whatever food she is going to eat....except Oreos there are no eggs in Oreos.

I attended a political demonstration up in Toronto with my Union. When it was over we were all invited back to the Union hall to eat. They had several grills going, making burgers and hot dogs.

They mustn't have anticipated the large number of attendees. The cooks just couldn't keep up. The lineup just kept getting longer. Except at the table where they were serving vegieburgers for people who don't eat meat. So I ended up having a vegieburger with my muslim friends.

Turkeytop wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 1:42 pm

I attended a political demonstration up in Toronto with my Union. When it was over we were all invited back to the Union hall to eat. They had several grills going, making burgers and hot dogs.

They mustn't have anticipated the large number of attendees. The cooks just couldn't keep up. The lineup just kept getting longer. Except at the table where they were serving vegieburgers for people who don't eat meat. So I ended up having a vegieburger with my muslim friends.

Muslims don't eat pork, but many eat meat.

teetoppz28 wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 11:07 am

Bryce wrote: ↑

Tue Sep 19, 2023 10:52 am

I just went outside and checked my front yard. I didn't see a sign that said Burger King. When coming to my house for casual get togethers in the summertime, guests get it MY WAY.

Now, on more formal occasions, weddings, anniversary parties, etc. Dietary concerns are taken care of.

It's probably lost in the jungle of "tRump 20**" signs and flags. Look harder.

All Bryce's food is cooked under a flaming cross.