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Strings Attached

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:45 pm
by Turkeytop
Auburndale Florida Man Arrested During Traffic Stop And Found To Be Naked With String Tied To His Genitals


Auburndale, Florida – The Polk County Sheriff’s Office has arrested a man for multiple drug charges and fleeing to elude after failing to stop at an intersection. According to arrest affidavit deputies arrested Jerry Sanders, DOB 2/6/61, of Auburndale after he allegedly failed to stop at the intersection of Industrial Street and Bishop Street in Auburndale.

According to the arrest affidavit a Polk County Sheriff’s Office Deputy witnessed a silver sedan fail to stop at the intersection of Industrial Street and Bishop Street. The deputy, in a patrol car, put his lights on and initiated a traffic stop. The sedan allegedly attempted to flee, but shortly swerved off the road. According to the affidavit the deputy noticed partially smoked marijuana joints and a rolled up dollar bill in the center console.

Sanders was taken into custody. The deputy noticed as he escorted Sanders out of the car that he was totally naked and had string wrapped around his body. He was also found to have string tied to his penis and testicles. The deputy asked Sanders why he fled. Sanders allegedly replied “because I was naked”. Sanders allegedly consented to a search of his car and told deputies they would find no drugs in it. Deputies allegedly found a baggie of methamphetamine, rolled dollar bill and joints. Sanders allegedly admitted to snorting methamphetamine with the dollar bill and that “weed” was in the joint he smoked.

Sanders is still listed as in custody at Polk County Jail as of this article. He has a combined bond of $2,500.00.
https://www.dailyridge.com/en/2020/03/2 ... -genitals/

Auburndale is 418 miles from Niceville.


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Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2020 11:09 pm
by Rate This
Turkeytop wrote:
Sun Mar 22, 2020 10:45 pm
Auburndale Florida Man Arrested During Traffic Stop And Found To Be Naked With String Tied To His Genitals


Auburndale, Florida – The Polk County Sheriff’s Office has arrested a man for multiple drug charges and fleeing to elude after failing to stop at an intersection. According to arrest affidavit deputies arrested Jerry Sanders, DOB 2/6/61, of Auburndale after he allegedly failed to stop at the intersection of Industrial Street and Bishop Street in Auburndale.

According to the arrest affidavit a Polk County Sheriff’s Office Deputy witnessed a silver sedan fail to stop at the intersection of Industrial Street and Bishop Street. The deputy, in a patrol car, put his lights on and initiated a traffic stop. The sedan allegedly attempted to flee, but shortly swerved off the road. According to the affidavit the deputy noticed partially smoked marijuana joints and a rolled up dollar bill in the center console.

Sanders was taken into custody. The deputy noticed as he escorted Sanders out of the car that he was totally naked and had string wrapped around his body. He was also found to have string tied to his penis and testicles. The deputy asked Sanders why he fled. Sanders allegedly replied “because I was naked”. Sanders allegedly consented to a search of his car and told deputies they would find no drugs in it. Deputies allegedly found a baggie of methamphetamine, rolled dollar bill and joints. Sanders allegedly admitted to snorting methamphetamine with the dollar bill and that “weed” was in the joint he smoked.

Sanders is still listed as in custody at Polk County Jail as of this article. He has a combined bond of $2,500.00.
https://www.dailyridge.com/en/2020/03/2 ... -genitals/

Auburndale is 418 miles from Niceville.


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He went on a joy ride because he was despondent over the crisis we face.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2020 11:51 pm
by Turkeytop
He was fit to be tied.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 5:25 am
by TC Talks
He was tangled up in blueballs

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:51 am
by Turkeytop
Sanders is a student of String Theory.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:56 am
by Bryce
He didn't want to drive that way, but he was stranded.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:59 am
by Turkeytop
He's always been high strung.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 12:01 pm
by Rate This
All he had to do was go pull a few strings...

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:03 pm
by Bryce
Both of his sartorial tastes were in one ac-cord.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:17 pm
by Rate This
Bryce wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:03 pm
Both of his sartorial tastes were in one ac-cord.
... not bad...

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 3:20 pm
by Turkeytop
As a child, according to his mother, he was always on Santa's knotty list.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:50 pm
by Bryce
He was bound to be caught.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:42 pm
by Turkeytop
Bryce wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:50 pm
He was bound to be caught.
He was twine not to be.

Re: Strings Attached

Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:00 pm
by Bryce
Turkeytop wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 11:42 pm
Bryce wrote:
Mon Mar 23, 2020 10:50 pm
He was bound to be caught.
He was twine not to be.
No matter how hard he tries, he always gets himself into a bind.