Some Church News

[Turkeytop]

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

[Mega Hertz]

The Evangelical squirrels were at a Trump rally. They knew they'd find the most nuts there.

[Matt]

The Evangelical squirrels were at a Trump rally. They knew they'd find the most nuts there.

Audiophile has been spotted inspecting the female squirrels at the rally.

[Deleted User 9015]

I found plenty of nuts at PRIDE this year.

They were attached to the women.

[craig11152]

A guy can't even tell a joke without somebody turning it political.

[Turkeytop]

I'd better post some input here, or I'll be accused of posting this just to stir up controversy.

Full disclosure. I was raised in the Catholic Church with the catechism, holy water and Ash Wednesday. But I lost my faith decades ago.

[Mega Hertz]

A guy can't even tell a joke without somebody turning it political.

I'm not the one that made politics and religion one and the same.